Monday, March 1, 2010

Goat Boner 3; Back for More

It's gonna be a hot summer; The Goat Boner series is back with a big boner for the box office. All of Hollywood is abuzz for the new Goat Boner installment. The star power has been amped up and the budget is bulging! Sony Boner Entertainment spent a whopping $138 Mil on this 3D masterpeice and is projected to recoup by the end of opening weekend. Its not all about the money though. This film is a melange of heart, tail and of course Goat Boner.

The film picks up almost immediately where we left off in GB2, with the goat in marital bliss with Ben Gobbler, played by Vince Vaughn. The movie plods along with some pretty touching goat on man relationship scenes (including a really sanguine 3D shot of a Goat Boner). Things get interesting when the goat goes out partying and runs into a America's favorite salt and pepper sexbot Alec Baldwin. Baldwin dryly plays Danny Pucker, an English business man only in town for one night. The two lock eyes while stopping behind a dumpster for a late night snack, but it doesn't stop there. When Danny's goat (voiced by Steve Martin) starts calling from their flat in London things really start to boil over. Oh the hijinks!

The Goat Boner series definitely gets turned up a notch in this one. After a long winter of non-Goat Boner films America is ready to laugh, cry and feel disgusted with itself again. So get patriotic and see a movie called Goat Boner 3. You may even learn something about the real America as the goat struggles to honor the timeless institution of man-goat marriage. But Alec Baldwin wan't in the pre-nup and the goat has a boner for that loophole!

----Prolonged exposure to three dimensional Goat Boner will induce vomiting---

Goat Boner 2

This season has been an unprecedented one for progress and discovery in the genre of films about unconventional love. Obviously the spark for this swath of ingenuity was the ground breaking The Blind Side. God bless that movie. Sandra Bullock set out to make a movie but ended up capturing the soul of Mother Theresa when she died her hair blond and adopted a big ol' black dude. Since that moment Hollywood has opened the flood gates and the world has been joyously douched in movies dealing with the complicated nature of being in love while not being a white man and woman.
Irregardless of your opinion of wierdo love, we can all agree that goats are ripe for parody. In this spirit Touchstones Pictures brings us Goat Boner 2. Its the story of a one night stand with a man and a goat that turns into a culture clashing relationship. When Vince Vaughn, playing Ben Gobbler, mistakenly hits on a goat at a barn raising things get steamy before you can say 'bahhhh'. Unlike other movies you may have seen about men loving or staring at goats, this movie doesn't stop when the nut is busted. Not at all!
You will laugh and cry and whatever when you see a man and his goat decide to go steady. Needless to say the 'rents ain't pleased and neither is the farmer!

*This movie is rated GB for excessively long shots of Goat Boner. Only bring your children if you think they are ready*